Words like character, honor, integrity, honesty, and trust are used to describe it. But no matter how you refer to it, you no doubt realize its importance: If people cannot count on you to do the things you say you will do, to live up to your promises, and to interact with them in an honest and forthright manner, they will quickly move away; and they will seldom be silent.
That is the essence of congruity. It is not found in the words you say, but it is demonstrated in the actions you take. Because as Ralph Waldo Emerson said: ?Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.?
Across the past few weeks the subject of congruity has surfaced in my observations, conversations, and interactions in a way that has illustrated the sharp contrasts between those who are congruent and those who aren?t.
Let me briefly illustrate.
Recently I was watching a speaker at a conference and sensing that the message didn?t match the man. It was more than a gut feel, it was something almost tangible?gaps in the stories that didn?t ring true when taken as a whole, an insincerity and lack of respect for the audience that was almost palpable, and an obvious mismatch of actions off-stage versus actions on-stage.
I should note that though this speaker is not a personal acquaintance, his work is very familiar to me?it is often held up as an example of success in his industry, and chances are that if I shared his name you would recognize it. But without any prompting on my part in the weeks since hearing him speak, no fewer than six people have mentioned his name to me, and in every case it has been to share something that confirms my impression and heightens my concern.
One person strongly cautioned me about engaging in any type of business relationship with him. Two others shared their observations regarding the lack of congruity between the person he is off-stage and the person he is on-stage. The next noted his obvious lack of respect for the people he serves, and the last two identified specific personal experiences where his business dealings have been less than honest.
In stark contrast, during this same time period, there is another person with whom I have interacted who is clearly at the opposite end of the spectrum with regard to congruity. He is one who walks his talk, who is the same person on-stage that he is off-stage, and who is spoken highly of by everyone who mentions his name.
Which one of these men do you think will achieve more success and have more impact in the long term? And more important, which one are you becoming more like each day?
Share This
Read more at: .
|
